Please be seated … Wouldn’t this be loverly?

Check out these minty-creamy tall chairs. And retro-hip bar stools. Aren’t roadside sales the best? Below, white wicker is still nice, but I happen to like the classic old striped “lake chairs.”

All I want is a room somewhere … with one enormous chair. Make that 20, plus a few of the smaller variety.

I have a dream. Lots of dreams actually, some pretty grandiose. But today I’ll stick to a small one. This dream involves chairs. Lots and lots of chairs. You’ll often hear me faux-complain that my house is too small, though it’s really not (almost 2000 sf if you include the partially finished basement). But it does lack an official dining room — more on that topic/source of internal debate someday — and I guess that’s why I have a special spot in my heart for chairs.

Though I’m the solo captain of my particular piece of paradise, I’d get pretty bored here fast if I didn’t have several chances per year to fill the place up with people. My favorite times to do that? Christmas, Fourth of July and any college-football Saturday. But add to the list Mother’s Day — this year I began what I hope is a new tradition of a Mama’s Day Porch Party — and some non-holiday-related, who-needs-a-reason events such as wine-tasting night, book club or cocktails-before-dinner-out, my place. Essentially, my little house dreams usually are fueled by the thought of people coming over, but the same thought tends also to cause some angst.

Do I have enough chairs?  Does anyone ever?  I cringe at the thought of announcing my longstanding the-more-the-merrier policy while wondering if everyone will find a comfortable place to land. Face it, sometimes a reason people might cut out early is they just can’t lean in, or against, anymore. And they never were very good at eating and drinking from the upright position. The good Lord gave us laps and tables for a reason.

Hence my grandiose vision: If I had an entire extra room in my house, I’d want to turn it into many things: an office, of course, or a playroom for visiting cutie pies, or even just a room-size closet. (Saw that in a house on the market once and swooned.) But I just can’t shake the idea that for me it would be best to do what few have done before: create an out-and-out Chair Room. You read that right. I’d do little more to this room than fill it up with chairs, of all sorts, mismatched, a little beat up, storied … I’m  picturing Grandma and Grandpop here; each night, when they retired to the parlor, she settled into a nubby recliner and he into a single, hard-backed, narrow wooden seat. They ended their evenings side by side, a la Archie and Edith, except hers was the more inviting perch. Preference, that’s all. He also liked an extra-firm twin mattress, as opposed to a soft, shared queen or king.

Anyway, it was always neat to see those mismatched chairs way back then, and still today, when I come upon an artful, eclectic seating arrangement, this heart of mine flutters. That’s what happened yesterday on the way home from a little jaunt to a nearby lake …

Chairs!  Roadside chairs! Stop the car; I simply HAVE to get out. In these pictures, do you see what I see?  Tea chairs, perhaps, in the mint-green and cream set? I’m not so much for tea, but pour me some extra-bold coffee, and I’ll get up in the morning, I promise. I also pictured the tall chairs in my “wine cellar,” such as it is, conversation pieces on a conversational evening.

And check out the classic striped canvas “lake chairs.” Someone could tell some good fish tales while seated in those sweeties, no doubt.

I, of course, had to walk away. So difficult. But no room for them. Yet. At least I know they felt my love as I photographed them and promised them they would no doubt go to a good home soon. I hope.

If not, I’ll come back for them someday. When the house fairy grants me an addition, or maybe a big new place with a few extra rooms with which to play around.

If you love something, set it free. If you come back for it, and it’s still there, it’s yours. And it’s probably a sign you’re meant to set up your own salon, literary or otherwise. Advance reservations on chairs happily accepted.

~ SJS (AMDG)